


What are names anyway?

by Bismuth_is_Underrated (Yuttis)



Category: Jreg, The Centricide (Webseries)
Genre: (a bit), Angst, It has plot, Post-Canon, Slow Burn, ill try my best
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-29
Updated: 2020-05-19
Packaged: 2021-02-27 19:00:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 7,317
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22468270
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yuttis/pseuds/Bismuth_is_Underrated
Summary: After the left's win, AnCom is given the chance to rescue qis old comrade. The left might have won but not everyone has an in.Crossposted on Wattpad.
Relationships: Ancom/tankie
Comments: 28
Kudos: 66





	1. Is it Gulag or Kulak?

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know if you notice any pronoun mistakes!

In the end, perhaps surprisingly, the left won. As it comes out, when you include people other than those who look like exactly the same white guy, or so called "jreg", it is much easier to win a war.

Ancom relaxed, sitting on ground, back against a post, enjoying a sunrise. Qi had never quite liked them as much as qi liked the sunsets, but today, the sunrise was beautiful. So peaceful.

For the first time in qis life, ancom's future was somewhat secure. Sure, it will be more moderate than qi really wished for and the government will be stronger than qis ideal, but it will be.. good.

Hopefully.

Ancom waved around qis bat, as if to scare away flies. Qi had been considering retiring it, after all, it was now no longer needed, but something held qim back. Maybe sentimentality, who knows. Certainly not Ancom.

Or.. just Anarchy now. The other is gone, after all.

"Anarchy!"

Ana turned towards the caller- the mild mannered general Socialism.

"Enjoying the sunrise?"

"Would be better with drugs," qi laughed, "and sunset is redder."

"Ah, yes, like the communist flag."

Socialism rested his back besides Anarchy. After a brief comfortable pause, he spoke again.

"You know, I always mess them up: which one is which, Gulag or kulak?"

Anarchy snorted. "You know, Tankie used to give me a nice way to remember which is which," Anarchy started mimicking qis old comrade's accent: "gulag vas great and kulak vas krap"

Qi hummed a bit and then asked: "What happened to him anyway?"

Socialism bemoaned. 

"He cooperated with the enemy and ran away when we reached them."

"Hah! He always said that he's an ideology of action, but now comes out that the action is running away!" Anarchy said, but really qi felt a bit weird discussing Tankie.

"Guess who's back, bitches!" exclaimed Anti-Authoritarianism. "Anny, I got ye som drugsss!" she said, throwing a bag to Anarchy, who eagerly opened it.

"Oh nice! Where did you get it?"

"Well, I don't have my own shop running yet, so that's actually ancap's old stash."

Aww, ancap.

Socialist moved himself a bit. 

"Is he dead now?"

"As dead as an ideology can be," An-Auth snorted, after snorting some cocaine.

Anarchy also took a nice sniff. Oh, oh, drugs. How had qi missed them.

"Oh!" An-Auth raised her head from the pile of cocaine-mushroom-alcohol-weed-gasoline goo, "they actually caught the Autoraterialism!" 

"Who?" Anarchy asked, confused.

"You know, Tankie, or whatever you called him."

Right, because the nazi is dead.

"When's Authoritarianism's sentencing?" Socialism asked, moving a bit away from the drugs, instead cracking open a lemonade.

"Uhh, like this evening? Look, assholes, I wanna get high before they put any laws in place so excuse me," and she was back in the goo.

Socialism mumbed "that can't be good for her", coughed and turned to Anarchy, who was questionably more sober.

"So do you think that you'll go to the sentencing?"

"Oh, no, uhh," the dope was getting into Anarchy's head, "that would be, õighh, w e i r d, you know?"

"Why?"

"Well.." thoughts of Tankie flooded Anarchy's head. His soothing presence, supporting hand, the rare smile qi sometimes got from him, the morning when qi were reeling from withdrawal and Tankie would read Des Capital for qim in Russian.. "you know, we used to be friends."

"Ooh."

A quick awkward silence.

"I'm sorry for that."

The drugs seemed to suddenly work a lot less effectively at dulling the small part of qim that missed qis comrade. "Don't be. He'll be dead soon anyway."

"Well, you can't KILL an ideology, we can only be "retired". That of course means that there is only one person necessary to recreate an ideology, to make them "un-dead", so to say." Socialism looked worried for a second, peeked at Anarchy, but then quickly masked it. "That's why we can't keep Authoritarianism alive. He has worked with the enemy before, he might recreate them again-"

"YEAH I GET IT."

Why did drugs never work the way you want them to?

"I'm gonna go home," Anarchism said, and then more quietly to qimself, "and I'm not going to his sentencing." 


	2. the Sentencing on State Capitalism/Socialism

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Really, it's not even about politics- it's about trust.

Anarchy went to Tankie's sentencing.

What, was someone gonna stop qim? Other that qis pride?

Ana moved to the back row of a food court in a small mall that had "COURT" hastily written on the front door and sat next to the Orthodox Marxism. They were hunched over a Des Capital, once in a while taking out a highlighter and marking passages until they noticed qim.

"Oh, Anarchy! Uh, Socialism told me that you would stay home?" they said or asked.

But Anarchy had an rebuttal: "One of the core beliefs of anarchism is free movement of people, the ability to go wherever you want without having to explain yourself to anyone. 

In other words, nonya."

In other OTHER words, qi didn't know qimself.

Marxism laughed a bit awkwardly, pushed their glasses slightly up, and continued reading.

Ana rested qis bat on the fruit aisle that had been repurposed as a long chair. The mention of Socialism had made qim nervous. Call qim paranoid, but Anarchy was getting the vibe that Socialism was suspicious of the more extreme one and qis former friendship. But it might be paranoia. 

Time to do a Direct Action to find out!

"So what else did Socialism tell you?"

"Uhh, ooonly that you would not be coming why would you ask did you exchange secrets or something?"

"Oh, we just had some drugs, you know how info goes then."

Marxism had never done drugs.

"Socialism did drugs?"

"No, I did. You want some?" Qi still had a bit of grass left, as well as some powder even qi could not identify.

Marxism looked quickly from side to side, and shook their head: "you know that they are planning on making them illegal? Well, some of them, weed will remain from what I've heard, but, you know"

"Oh, not in the anarchy zone, that's for sure."

"Oh, c-cool."

"Attention, everyone," Socialism called, as the new Centrism, "we will begin the sentencing of Authoritarianism, or as he was formerly known, Authoritarian Left. Bring the accused to the witness stand."

Socialism crawled down from the flour shelf and Ana could hear the mumbling and quiet shouting in from the audience as Leninism was dragging Tankie into the big hall.

Ouch, the choice of the prison keeper must have hurt.

Tankie was as authoritative as ever, his shoulder held back and posture straight. His face was full of anger, but the controlled kind. He moved like he wanted to climb to the top of the old jewelry stand, not like he had a gun held to his neck. In short, Tankie looked like a dictator, like an authoritarian. 

He surveyed each face in the audience, betraying no emotions. Ana wasn't wearing qis green hoodie, having switched it for a black-and-red one, so qi wasn't really worried that qi would be recognized.

In that moment it was REALLY easy to hate Tankie. He LOOKED like a tratour, like someone with no remorse or guilt. But.. ugh.

Anarchy smashed qis head into the weird white powder™

"We begin with the prosecution of Authoritarianism. Everyone present in this room today who would like to have a say in the decision, shout ay!"

A strong AY! was shouted, with Anarchy quietly repeating it half a second later.

"Authoritarianism," Socialism, as that day's speaker, continued, "you are being charged as a tratour, an enemy of socialism and a damaging ideology. Would you agree to these charges?"

"Нет."

"You can speak English and we both know it."

"These charges are vabricated and ve all knov it."

"Then prove it at the presence of the court!"

Silence.

"Did you work with right wing ideologies?"

Silence.

"ANSWER THE QUESTION, YOU STALINIST!" Leninism shouted, rattling his gun.

Marxism whistled.

Tankie's face scrunched, but he relented: "Да."

"Did you bring you troops to fight against us in the war?"

"..да."

"And do you advocate for a dictatorship and support the Soviet Union?"

"Да!"

"Then you have agreed to all of your charges. Does the court want him retired?"

A strong AY!

"In that case- Leninism, take him to retirement home."

Kind of a creepy name to give to an execution spot?

"What, no! Нет!" Tankie shouted, his facade cracking. He looked around the room with panic in his eyes, looking for one face who would support him. 

Ana looked at him with mild interest. It was somewhat easy to pretend that qi was not even there, that qi was just a ghost looking at the world of the living. 

Ah, and there goes qis old friend do his doom. How interesting. Shame qi couldn't do anything.

But Anarchy was not just a ghost, as Tankie made eye contact with qim. Shit.

"ANARKITTY! Пожалуйста, please help me, I-"

Leninism stuck the gun to Tankies mouth, hissing "Shut. UP!"

Oh, no, this felt.. bad. Having rarely seen Tankie as anything else than calm and collected, this display felt perverse, like the bourgie caring about a worker or a rich white cis man understanding how gender works. It goes against the natural order!

Ana patted Marxism's knee, said: "I'm going to do something stupid," and stood up. Well, qi tried to, but qi wobbled from side to side a bit.

"Wait!"

Everyone turned to qim.

And qi had no plans on what to say.

Socialism sighed and Marxism's eyebrows went up from behind their glasses.

"Isn't it, ugh, excuse me," qi vomited on the ground a real quick, "isn't it bad to retire a fellow leftist? A fellow socialist and communist and.. left winger?"

Crickets could be heard, or maybe Ana was having auditory hallucinations.

Someone mumbled something from the audience.

"Please repeat!" said Socialism.

A bit louder, that someone restated: "I mean, he's the personification of Soviet Union, right? And that was State Capitalism! So.. he's technically a capitalist!"

Ana heard "yeah"s and "they're right"s from the audience.

Tankie pulled their mouth away frõm the gun and trashed: "It vas State Socialism you козел! People could vot-"

"It was a dictatorship!" Anti-Authoritarianism shouted with other voices joining her growl.

Socialism groaned, probably feeling like the only sane man, and couched to get people attention.

"It indeed does NOT matter, what his political placement truly is- Apolitical is alive, after all. What MATTERS is that you have worked with the enemy, Authoritarianism."

Socialism turned fully towards Tankie, looking just as, if not more, authoritative, even though he was much less muscled and not as tall.

"That makes you a friend of the enemy, it means that you would work with the. and that means that you could want to unretire them. And that makes you a security risk."

"But I von't!"

"Can we trust you?"

Oh, so it's a question of trust. Anarchism wobbled qis head, making today's second bad decision like it was nothing, and shouted: "I'll be responsible for him!"

"Anarchy, you're high," Socialism said.

"No, no, I'm serious!" Ana's brain was shouting that it's a great idea! Or maybe it was just shouting. "Like, you don't trust him, but you do trust me, right?"

Socialism's face was the definition of press X to doubt. Leninism's was so shocked he forgot to hold the gun up. And Tankie looked twofold: like he couldn't believe his ears and yet relieved.

"Oh, that's a great idea! Let's make Anarchy the guarantor!" Trotskyism shouted, and soon some AY!s followed.

Socialism looked a bit down and to the left, breather sharply in, and returned his face to the normalcy.

"Alright. Anarcho Communist, to you vow to take the full moral responsibility of State-Capitalism" -who started to trash again but Leninism pulled him down- "when it comes to reviewing retired right wing ideologies?"

Yeah, sure, Ana thought. But before they could voice that their legs gave up and qi fell to the concrete floor, losing consciousness.


	3. if you haveyour Utopia/Communism you might as well enjoy it!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Life is hard if you are voluntarally morally responsible for someone's possible future actions.

"He's-"

"Qi's."

"Sorry, qi's stable, it's all about waiting for qim to wake up now."

"No permanent injuries?"

"A small bruise on the side of the head but that just needs time."

"That's good to hear."

"Also, uh, we notices that qi's not written in with any unions, political parties or the state yet-"

"Qi will be going to Anarchy Zone in a few days, you don't need to worry about that."

Anarchy's eyes were not cooperating, it took quite a few tries for them to open, but eventually they did. The hospital room, which was just an old novelty sock store, was pleasantly lit, where next to qis bed were Socialism and a middle-aged women. After the latter noticed that Ana's awake she said:

"Well, I'll leave you two to it."

She moved to the door, turned back, gave a deep bow to the two of them, saying: "Ideologies," turned around and left.

Anarchy grunted: "It's still weird when they do that."

It was establishing a social hierarchy. And Ana was not fond of them.

"Well, when you go to your own little zone you can introduce yourself as whoever. In in this little corner of the world," Socialism gestured towards his face, "our face is famous."

"Yeah, saying that also sounds weird."

"Aww, I thought that commies were all about OUR stuff?"

Anarchy coughed out a laugh and stood up from the bed. He was wearing an hospital t-shirt and some jeans. This.. was oddly dysphoria inducing.

"Yeah, you vomited all over your own clothes, they're in wash right now" Socialism said, seeing qi's attention on the clothes.

"Uh, hey, Socy, uhh, do you have any other clothes?"

"Is it a gender dysphoria thing?"

"Wait, how would you know?"

Socialism turned towards a drawer nearby and started sorting through: "Marxism is my friend as well, you know. Now, would you like something feminine, masculine, the mix of two, neither, or something that would just make you look like a genderless blob?"

"You don't have an hoodie?"

Socialism shook his head.

Ana sighed: "Genderless blob, please."

Socialism pulled out a bonzo.

It was hideous, and looked like it was made by an eight year old with colour blindness.

But hey, if it fights against dysphoria!

While Anarchy was pulling on the bonzo, Socialism cleared his throat and sat down: "We need to discuss your.. decision at the sentencing yesterday."

Ana peered at the Socialist.

"You are a smart enby, so you MUST realize that this is a bad idea. I know that letting go of the friendships can be hard, but-"

Jesus, that felt like a parent was lecturing qim! Socialism just went on and on, at some point pulling out a bunch of statistics, a political compass and a whiteboard. 

Why was somebody telling Anarchy what to do instead of letting them figure it out qimself? One of anarchism's core values it the removal of power, the removal of having someone limit your choices… dammit, is qi Anarchism or not?

And moreover.. retiring Tankie felt, no, WAS wrong! Attacking someone for something that they -might- do.. it just went against Ana's principles! If the Capitalist government had punished qim for everything qi MIGHT have done.. which is a bad example because qi wanted to overthrow the government.

And then there's also the former friend and comrade thing but.. Anarchy thought that would be better left aside.

Yeah. Objective decision.

"-and this is why it would be for the best if-"

"I'm sure."

"-you would just.. what?"

"I'm sure. I'll be responsible of Tankie."

"State-Capitalism."

"That feels pedantic."

"And your pronouns don't?"

"It's not the-!!" shouting made qis head hurt "..ugh, yeah, whatever. Where is he anyway?"

Socialism's eyes were wide and mouth tense. He clearly didn't want this to happen. But he stood up and opened the door: "Follow me."

\---

The corridor was filled with war veterans, both ideologies and people, getting their free healthcare. While Socialism got a passing nod or a bow from everyone they crossed, Ana was respectfully greeted only by humans, who qi told to please not do that.

Qi couldn't wait to get to qis own zone of true freedom.

Eventually they reached a jewellry shop, the one with the highest security doors. Maoism was guarding the door, and at this point it just seemed like people were aggressively detaching themselves from Tankie.

The guard was also wearing aggressively feminine asian clothes, as if to compensate looking like a white guy, and Ana could relate. To be honest, many ideologies could.

"Mao, qi has made a decision."

Maoism nodded and opened the doors. The room was rather dark, so at first it was hard to see the figure sitting on the ground, but it sure was Tankie.

"State-Capitalism."

"Capitalist pavn!"

"There are no capitalists left but yourself. But it doesn't matter now- stand up and go with Anarchy."

Authoritarian Left pulled himself up and moved to the light. He looked at Anarchy critically, eying the bonzo for an especially long time, until he probably remembered his manners.

"Anarkitty."

"Tankie."

And an awkward silence.

"Whelp!" Socialism clapped his hands together, "this is it! We'll write the Capitalist here in as your household member at least until you move. And off you go!"

Anarchy shrugged and started navigating qis way out of the repurposed mall: "Let's go."

Having walked a few minutes, Anarchy was pulled aside by Leninism, who gave qim a gun.

"You never know what the Soviet will try."

"Thanks, because I don't already have a gun and your ideology didn't start the Soviet Union."

"I don't care about your thankfulness, I care about OUR safety."

\---

The walk was mostly quiet and was filled with Tankie opening his mouth and almost saying something and Anarchy slowly realizing what qi had done.

Fuck, what had qi done!

The ideology in question slowly peaked towards Tankie, who was opening his mouth, only to close it again. Ana felt bad for him. Also to remember, that the same man had once been his best friend.. yeah, it was something.

And now qi was responsible for his actions! FUCK!

The man also finally collected his courage and started speaking: "So I have heard that you have state?"

"Uhh, AND?"

"I thought that you vere anti state, нет?"

"Yeah, I am, but we're gonna create an autonomous Anarchy zone, so I'll get my place."

"Ahah."

That apparently wasn't what Tankie had really wanted to say, as he capt up the dumb fish routine.

Not that fish are dumb.

Ugh. This was getting worse. Anarchy didn't want that responsibility, especially straight after the revolution! A part of qim felt like a teenager forced to do chores, only qi had SIGNED UP for it!

"Mmm.. are you vorried that all I'd need to do to bring back other ideologies is to write them a manifesto and believe in it?"

"Well now I am!"

Ana wanted to scream.

"So vhat's with the bonzo?"

Ana turned sharply towards Tankie, who is quick to open his mouth:

"Not that it's ugly! I like the.. th-"

"Yeah it's ugly, I didn't make it. It's a gender dysphoria thing."

"A vhat thing?"

Thanks, Tankie, for reminding me that you never respected my pronouns, Anarchy thought.

That sure helps the creeping doubt.

"It doesn't matter- like, let's just get to my appartement!"

\---

Ana's apartment was filled with memorabilia from the war in one corner- from the molotov cocktails and baseball bats it was started with to tactical letters and guns it was ended with. This was the only organized corner though- everything else was just a mess of many soft objects and clothes.

"My clothes!" Anarchy squealed, grabbing a green hoodie and throwing the bonzo into a dark corner. Ah, it felt good to be back in qis own clothes.

Tankie stepped on a half-empty chips' bag.

Aaand mood ruined.

"Yeah, you can sleep on the sofa."

If you can find the sofa.

But Authoritarianism just stood there, quizzical look on his face. And at that moment it was annoying the fuck out Ana who just wanted to process it all.

What was he so confused about anyway?

Qi decided to just ask: "Why are you looking at me like this?"

"Like vhat?"

"Like! You're super confused about something!"

Tankie looked away.

Anarchy sighed: "Just tell me. I can't get rid of you anyway."

He finally spoke after a bit more of silence:

"You seem upset."

"No shit Sherlock!"

Fuck, no. Tankie's moth was tense and eyes looking away from Anarchy, who was feeling bad for exploding at the other. Qi had had this problem before, but the old company was bringing it up again.

"Õgh, sorry. How is it relevant that I seem upset?"

"Vell.. at the sentencing you said that you would be looking after so I von't revive the dead ideologies, but nov you just seem angry and.. I suppose I don't want to be the reason that you're angry."

Oh.

"Look, Tankie.. I'm just worried, alright? I'm RESPONSIBLE for you now, and I don't know if I can trust you not to fucking.. go around resurrecting like.. like that guy who wanted to blow up the world so some stupid moss could grow!"

"You made that one up, да?"

"Nope."

"Huh."

Tankie stood for a few seconds, then walked to Anarchy: "I can't give you any guarantee that I von't resurrect the others, I won't! ..but I'll try to get your trust. Because" he shrugged "after you what did for me, you do deserve it, comrade."

"Oh. Cool!"

Anarchy gave a thumbs up and flopped into the mess of blankets and pillows. Qi pulled out a remote and but on a new comedy show.

"Wanna watch "Ouch! I married a Capitalist!" with me?"

Tankie moved carefully over the pillows and trash and sat on a couch, eyebrows pulled towards the center.

"Sure..

Vait, so you're not upset anymore?"

"Eh," Anarchy said, pulling out a hamburger in a bag (organically produced!), "just that knowing that I had this.. bullshit responsibility for a practical stranger hurt, but, eh, it seems like you are willing to put in the work! And in that case, we are SHARING this bullshit responsibility, so there's not that much to worry about."

Qi pulled out a grin: "and besides, what's the point of a utopia if you can't enjoy it because you're worrying about your new roommate?"


	4. Ouch! My roommate is Actually a Decent Person!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I get my theory though memes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dis a shorty but I just watched an abstract sex scene gimme a break

Anarchy fell asleep six episodes into "Ouch! I married a Capitalist!", but to Tankie it was far to interesting to fall asleep to- the sitcom seemed to be the synthesis of a Avant-Garde arts' graduate trying out weird angles, an old-school network comedy writer being forced to unlearn sexist jokes and the government pushing relentless propaganda, as at least once an episode there was a two minute lecture on either why capitalism was bad or how different socialist systems work.

Authoritarian Communism had to give it to them, this was a good way to introduce socialism to people, even if it was really watered down.

Sadly, all good things must come to an end, as the show ended and news came on. Just another slew of people fighting over which systems to but up where, squabbles that state could easily push down if it wasn't so pathetic. No wonder Anarkitty tolerated it.

Thinking of qim, Tankie turned towards the sleeping figure. Qi was a native in the comfortable chaos, chest rising and falling in a comfortable rhythm. Anarchy was objectively pretty, and that same beutiful peeson had.. saved him.

Wait.

Tankie stopped staring at his sleeping comrade and instead started looking around for a way to entertain himself, as it was only 18.00. The apartment predictably didn't have any proper theory or books, but it did have an IPod with the apple symbol scratched off that had "The Conquest of Bread" downloaded. 

It was filthy Anarcho-Communist theory, but it was theory.

Tankie putpon earphones, pulled out a paper and pen for making notes and clicked play:

"One of the current objections to Communism and Socialism altogether, is that the idea is so old, and yet it could never be realized. Schemes of ideal States haunted the thinkers of Ancient Greece; later-"

In a way, he forgot to consider leaving.

\---

Anarchy awoke in a mess of sweat and blankets, tv still running in the background. So just a regular evening post-revolution. Qi yawned, considering what to do with qis evening- the possibilities were near endless. Qi could go bully another Libertarian ideology into giving qim drugs, qi could visit another club or union, maybe infiltrate a reading of Karl Marx.

Letting the evening decide, Anarchy simply grabbed qis baseball bat and strotted towards his door.

"Oh! Ve are going anyvhere?"

Ana turned towards the voice's origin, who was taking earphones off. Oh, right. Ugh.

"No, I am going somewhere, you can keep listening to.."

"It's "The Conquest of Bread", comrade."

"Yeah, that, whatever." Qi turned towards the door but Tankie spoke up:

"Didn't you dovnload it yourself?"

"Uhh," Ana looked towards the IPod, "it was a gift, actually. I told Socialism that I haven't actually really read theory so he gave me this. I still never got through it tho."

"Vell that's a shame, an ideology should be intimately avare of one's theory! Vhat stopped you?"

Ana did some vague gestures with his hands and bat.

"I dunno, maybe I don't like a fucking dead RANDO talking weirdly into my ear about weird stuff? Do you have a problem with that!?"

"Oh, vooov!" the Soviat raised both of his arms, "just asking."

And Ana had exploded him again after he had almost been sentenced to death. Great.

"You knov, Anarkitty," Tankie said, grabbing the paper full of notes, "I can tell you a summary on it!"

Qi cave a quick laugh: "Only if you manage to not bore me."

Tankie also laughed and started the story as they left the apartment: "Kropotkin starts his vork by asserting that each person has a right to their vell-being, rather than the products of their labour, vhich I disagree with! because according to him these products come only through others-"


	5. Serve me a hot-hot glass of Injustice/Forgiveness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hang out with your friends and HOPE that one of them's not a low-key war criminal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hmm i'm scared that this chapter will sound a bit fake-deep. Oh whelp, i'll call it character development moments if anybody asks.

"I'm saying that equality is not a helpful end goal, it's useless when everybody's starving, нет?"

"Of course it's important to have people's basic needs met, it's one of the cornerstones of my philosophy! 

Just that butting it before EVERYTHING is just a road to authoritarianism, as that one deciding group slowly becomes detached from the general public. 

But, of course, you're chill with that so-"

"I'm not "chill" vith dictators!"

"Sure thing, *Authoritarian* Left," Anarchy snorted, "now do you wanna keep on arguing about boring theory," qi flipped qis bat in the air, "or do you wanna do something FUN?"

Tankie squinted his eyes and pointed his head away: "Vhat do you consider "fun"?"

"Ohh, many things," Ana said, rubbing qis hands together and smiling behind the bandana, "we could do some cocaine and go to a gun ring with Antifa!"

"You know how to shoot?"

"I kinda HAD to learn, revolution and all. Oh! We could go and fuck with non-leftists, Horseshoe Centris has set up a metal workshop, let's ask him to make a horseshoe for us!"

"Uhh, maybe something a bit calmer, нет?"

"Hmm, we can dress up as one of the Marxisms and go to their "Marxist throughout the wooorld" meeting, that'll confuse the FUCK out of them let me tell ya that!"

"Annd maybe also something that doesn't involve making people angry? Vhy not JUST visit "Marxism around the world?"

"But it isn't fun, Tank."

"Why not?"

Anarchy's nose scrunched up and qi gripped his bat protectively. 

"You can tell me, comrade. As the American capitalists say, it's not like I have anyone to tell!"

"Yeah, sure," Ana sighed, but qi didn't really feel annoyed. "Look, it's just that sitting in a room with a bunch of others discussing theory is so perverse! We should be building it right now, not farting about it!"

"But vhat about non-political gatherings? Non drug-related ones, I mean"

"A whats?"

Tankie rose and lowered his shoulders: "The ones that don't discuss socialism and don't do drugs?"

"Huh."

Anarchy slowed down a bit and looked towards the other.

"I haven't been to one of those in.. never, actually."

"Vell that's a shame, my comrade.

"Tank, you can call me Ana."

"But you are my comrade."

"Well so is practically everyone else here!"

Tankie looked sceptical at the claim, and Anarcy's eyes widened: "Oh, crap, yeah, you're right."

"But I'm Left."

"Ugh, Tankie! It's a metafor!"

"Да, I know," Authoritarianism smiled. "Was a joke."

"Ohh," Ana said and then laughed in return, "I didn't know you make jokes, mr. I Get Up At Six Every Day."

"Hov is getting up at a reasonable time make me less funny?"

"Oh, ya know, only Killjoys get up early!"

"Hov dare you attack your fellow communist so," Tankie said, but he was laughing.

"Anarchy?"

Comrades turned toward the lean caller and his companion. 

"Crap, it's Socialism," Anarchy mumbled, and then turned towards the approaching duo: "Heyyy"

Orthodox Marxism nodded to Anarchy, as Socialism cocked his head.

"So State-Capitalism is out already?"

"He's supervised."

Anarchy moved qis hands and bat vaguely around.

"Hmm."

Right, this wasn't getting anywhere.

"Socy, can I talk with you for a bit?"

Probably the easiest way to make him disappear.

"Alright. I'll be right back, Marx!"

Ana and Socialism moved around the corner, where the former was quick to throw words around: "What's the fucking problem? Didn't we establish that I'll be responsible for his shit?"

"Well yes, but.. hmm."

"Alright, if you wanna say something rude then just say it, you've been fucking passive-aggressive 'bout it all."

There was a silence for a few seconds, but then Socialism rolled his eyes.

Anarchy had never seen him do something so openly rude.

"What part of "He fought against us" you didn't understand? And it's been FIVE hours and you're already walking around like best buddies!"

"What, I'm not allowed to be friendly?"

"No, no, friendliness is of course important but not with security risks! You're nicer to him then you are to people who actually fought besides you!"

"Well I'm not just fucking letting him of the hook, I just think that, you know.. second changes, forgiveness, you know the drill."

Socialism sighed and put his hand on Anarchy's shoulder: "But does it matter if you forgive him?"

"Whatcha mean?"

"He fought against us in a war. His actions hurt people, real people, not ideologies like us. Does it matter then that you want to forgive and forget when people who were actually AFFECTED want justice?"

Anarchy raised qis hand but then lowered it. After a second of though, he hissed "Fuck you!" and ran off, giving Socialism a quick punch in the groin with qis bat.

\---

Tankie was getting a bit worried by how long Socialism and Anarkitty had been behind the corner, especially he liked one of these people and didn't the other.

"So, Marxism, you are going to "Marxism around the vorld", нет?"

"Oh, haha, no, I'm just hanging around with Socy, you know?"

They adjusted their glasses.

"And what about you?"

"TANKIE, we're leaving," Anarchy shouted in.

"Oh, to vhere?"

But Ana was already dragging him behind qim

"I don't know yet, well just find a nice dark bar to squat at for a few hours."

"Where did Socialism stay?" Marxism asked, walking behind them.

"He left, look, don't worry about it!"

"Oh, must have been an emergency. Can I come with you then?"

Anarchy, already ten meters away power walking, shouted sure and started reviewing qis internal map of bars, Tankie dragging behind qim, Marxism running after both of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Was the ending rushed? Eh, a bit, but I don't wanna make it overstuffed either.


	6. Accelerationism or an old.. business partner?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sometimes, while running away from your problems, you discover new ones.

"Vait, Anarkitty, vhat happened?" Tankie asked, keeping his voice low.  
"Oh, nothing much, Socialism just called you a war criminal and I kicked our de facto leader in nuts, you know, nothing special."

Tankies eyes widened in response, as he crouched lowed in heightened his walking speed: "Vhere are we going?”  
“I-I don’t know.”  
"Ve're not going to persecuted by state, are we?"  
"Well I technically didn't do anything illegal so-"  
“Hey why are we running?”

Tankie and Anarchy screamed, causing Marxism to scream as well.  
The first to come to his senses was Tankie, as he coached and said: “Oh, нада, нада..”  
"Nada as in we don't have a reason or nada as in you don't know?"  
"Uhh.."  
"Wait," Marxism pulled in their book and looked at the two extremists, "di-did Anarchy and Socialism fight?"

Anarchy started striding again, feeling annoyed at the bookworm but not having it in qimself to lie, as they would probably see it off qis body language: "Nonya, Marx. Now hop along."  
"Oh ok." They looked dejected, but awkwardly backed off, probably to go talk with Socialism. Right, this will end well.

Anarchy shook qis head and started speedwalking again, still dragging Commie behind qim. “Hey, Tankie, if you see any ugly establishment you feel like you wouldn’t want to go in, let me know.”  
“Hov about that one?” he pointed towards a bar with nice yellow crohv that seemingly hadn’t been cleaned in a while, as it was covered in white pigeon matter.

“Oh, I remember that one, it was Accelerationism’s, I think. The drinks were supposed to be about 50 percent water, and apparently it had a weird gimmick?” qi shook qis head, “doesn’t matter, great choice!”

They moved to the door and stepped in. The room was nicely lit and even though the outsides looked almost intentionally crappy, the bar was decorated like somebody was trying to seem rich. Anarchy could see some golden statues that Anarchy’s history of destroying rich peoples’ stuff said were fakes and quartz countertops. Anarchy remembered being high with Ancap and him ranting about how quartz is just as durable as marble but much cheaper. He, of course, never had to resort to quartz but he told the old Ancom that it would become the next big thing.

Other than the two leftist quadrants there were about three humans in the bar and an ideology at the counter. 

“Comrade, hov long we will stay here?”  
“Uhh, maybe for a couple of hours, until nightfall at least. I don’t think that he would stay behind my apartment door during the night.”  
Tankie shrugged, as he didn’t know the man. “Ve should buy drinks if that’s true.”  
“Pfft, buy? Why so old fashioned, we abolished that crap already!” Anarchy said while walking towards the counter.

“Hey, two beers please.”  
“That’s 10 barbucks.”  
Anarchy shook back: “What?”  
The bartender, probably Accelerationism, sighed and pointed towards a bowl of money at the counter. A bit weirded out, Anarchy took ten american dollars with “barbucks” scribbled over them and handed them to the barkeeper. Accelerationism sighed happily when Anarchy extended him money.

“You’re Ancom, aren’t you?”  
“I’ve been going mostly by Anarchy these days, you know, Anarchism No Adjectives died so I kind of absorbed her, and Ancap is also dead so.”  
“Seriously?!!”

Tankie popped with surprise and eyed the counter cautiously, standing halfway up.

“What?” Anarchy asked, not even taking qis bat. Qi didn’t feel very intimidated.  
“What what, you ASSHOLE!” Accelerationism pulled hands through his slick, gelled back hair. “You don’t recognize me?”  
“We all have the same face, pal.”  
“I’m Ancap!” he said, punching the counter, making the glass vases wobble.

A human slowly backed out of the room.

“You can’t be, kulak. I vatched him die!” Tankie felt necessary to contribute to the conversation, now fully standing up and moving towards the talking pair.

“You watched Ancap die, Commie, but political ideologies are like stocks.”  
“How?” Anarchy didn’t get the comparison.  
“They change with time! Ugh, i HATE living among libtards.”  
“We aren-”  
“Oh fuck off! I have had the WORST month of my life so far. I mean, i hoped that at least my former name would be let to stand, but noooo, you have to fucking piss on it!” Accelerationism’s voice became as whiny as Anarchy’s voice had once been. Or, ancap’s?

“You deserved it, Kulak,” Tankie scoffed.  
“Oh, that’s fucking rich considering you’re only alive because your pet felt sympathy for you.”  
“You can’t compare my injustice vith your situation, capitalist!”  
Anarchy stomped the ground with qis bat.

“Right, looks, Accelerationism, Ancap, we just need to squat here for a bit. We’ll get out of your face, aight?”  
Accelerationism sniffed a bit: “Can you pay?”  
“With wh-”  
“Please just take tis bowl and pay be 100 barbucks by the end of day, please? Please they cut me off drugs because “I use too much so there’s not enough for others” getting money is the only way to feel happy now.”

Anarchy sighed: “Yeah, sure, I’ll pay. Oh! What should i call you?”

“Can.. can you call me Capitalist? Cuz, you know,” sniff ”I own this bar and I can’t legally have any employees so I’m just employing myself but I do technically own capital!” he looked genuinely sad and hopeful when saying that. Not exploiting people was really weighing him down, huh.

“Yeah, I can call that, Capitalist.” Said Capitalist smiled widely at Anarchy, who took the finished beers and moved back towards their tables. Tankie pointed towards his eyes, then towards Capitalist, which the latter answered with a middle finger.

“So,” Anarchy asked the Authoritarian, “how do you feel about good-ol Ancap being alive and well?”  
Tankie huffed: “The Kulak can’t even stand firm to his ovn principles. I am not surprised.”  
“He seemed to have pretty same opinions as before to me.”  
“He can’t. He is a different ideology, you can feel it, Anarkitty. Change like that can only come from genuine change of beliefs, or strong villpover to avoid cognitive dissonance, and I am not giving Kulak that much credit.”  
“Eh, many accelerationist beliefs CAN be forced to feel like capitalist beliefs,it’s about making capitalism as bad as possible, after all.”  
“the only thing Kulak knovs vell is avoiding the consequences of his actions.”  
“Buddy, you aren’t a pure angel in that regard. Anyway, I think that it’s nice that one more person was not killed by the war after all. I could sneak him weed or something, maybe he’d be a bit more stable then.”

Tankie shook his head: “Supporting kulak before he has realised his wrongs is not productive vay to build communism.”  
“Pushing everyone away is not a productive way to build anarchism!” Anarchy shot back.  
“He is not everyone, he is literally a Capitalist!”

“Stop arguing, liberals, I’m trying to count my money here!”

The leftists paused.  
Sigh. “Look, he's clawless now. He can’t hurt anyone anymore.”  
“But he could still try to end your socialist era, comrade.”  
“Well, if he’s really untrustable then we will see with time, but for now, let’s just chill,” Anarchy said, leaning lightly against Commie, “wanna hear about the time I single handedly took out an SS division?”  
“Vill it be exaggerated?”  
“Juuust a teentsie bit.”

Tankie laughed and nodded: “Sure.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M BACKKKKK, BABY!


	7. press h to feel love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ///the joke is that in russian alphabet the letter x is h///

Tankie was starting to feel tipsy, which felt impossible considering kulak's water-to-alcohol ratio.

"And then I said: ‘I eat brains for breakfast!’ and bashed his bastard scull in!"  
The same couldn't be said for Anarchism though, who had seemingly earned the kulak's good graces and had gotten the resulting pure(er) drinks.

“That one-liner made made нетo sense, Anarkitty, none at all. Wasn’t he talking about “The Bell Curve” before that?”  
“Yeah but like IQ would be stored in brains if it was real! Also, he was like TOTALLY destroyed by that insult.”  
Commie laughed quietly: “you killed him, Anarkitty.”  
“Yeah, he was totally destroyed!”

The smaller anarchist threw qimself on the sofa, taking most of it. “Hey, can I go kinda personal here?”

Commie moved a bit closer to Anarchy, hovering his hand over qis shoulder before deciding against it: “of course, comrade.”

“How does it feel to be a disregarded by state? Since, you know,” qi rotated qis body to be against the sofa with qis back, facing the communist, “your whole thing is that the state is good?”  
“Opinion of bourgeois state didn’t bother me, and I would say it is no different here.” He didn’t mind the question, which felt weird. Had kulak asked that he would have suckerpunched him. “Can I also ask something personal?”

“Sure, fire away.”  
“Why are you fine with it?”  
“Cuz fuck the state, baBY!”

Kulak gave a small “whoop!” in his corner.

“I don’t believe you. You get along with everyone here, why compromise all that for me?”  
“It was an impulse decision, Tank, I didn’t exactly think it through,” Anarchy snorted, moved closer to Commie and leaned against him, “but I suppose that.. we need to heal, don’t we? Capitalism, the revolution, oppression- all of it hurt. Mentally, but also physically. I just want us to move away from it all. Maybe I’m just tired,” qi shrugged with a sad smile directed at Tankie, “that’s one of the reasons I wanna get away, you know.”  
“I understand that,” Commie said back, leaning against Anarchy.

“Hey, if ya’ll start making out I will ask more!”

Commie instantly blushed a bit, but anarchy rolled his eyes: “Sure you will, Hobkin.”

“Hey! I’m not Hobkin!” Anarcho-Capitalist jumped in, taking on of the glasses in his hand to swing at the duo but then remembered that he owned the class and instantly lowered his hand.

Anarchy snorted at the display, a bit sleepy. Tankie finally decided to give into the impulse and put his arm around his comrade. The latter looked content there, so it was probably a correct choice.

\---

The sky was dark grey-ish when Commie and Anarchy arrived at Anarchist's street, the former doing most of the navigating and the latter "no wait go there I swear there's a shortcut"-ing their journey longer. Or maybe it was just about Tankie not wanting to climb over fences.

"Hey, Tank?"  
"Да?" Tankie moved his head more towards Anarkitty, whose weight he was supporting, voice soft. 

"The sky is darker than it used to be. It used to be light gray at this hour."  
"Light pollution was much worse, да."  
"But it's still not black. It'll never be black in the here."

Commie turned the corner and stopped, looking at Anarchy’s face to figure out what qi had meant. Why did qi care about sky's colour? The smaller figure looked downright mournful, eyes a bit watery: "I can barely see the stars.."  
"Comrade, sometimes ve can't see the stars."

"No, you don't get it! It's like a metaphor, you know?"  
"Poetry vas never my thing," he chuckled.  
"Yeah," qi sighs, "I know, Tankie. I'm just thinking that.. I'm here, surrounded by moderates and centrist-leftists. I'll never have my utopia here."

"You vorked vith Centricide, comrade. You vorked vith me!" Commie felt hurt by the implication that he was impossible to live with, the emotions shining through the last sentence.  
"Yeah, before the revolution. But now! I'm relegated to my own area and most of the anarchists just get used to having a government," qi grieved, putting his head on Commie's shoulder. "I thought I was fine with it.."

“Anarkitty, that’s-” he chewed on his bottom lip before instinctively ending the nervous action and instead softly pulling his fingers through Anarchy’s hair, “I don’t know what say. You could always start next revolution, I think.” He felt like someone had gut punched him, as Anarchy’s face remained sad.  
Anarchy snorted, maybe a bit mockingly, leaning against Commie’s chest: “Yeah, good luck with that. I’m way too tired to do this shit again anyway.”

Commie sighed, patting Anarchy’s shoulder and started to move again, pushing Anarchy back to his side: “It is vhat it is?”  
“Yeah, it is.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> right i'm gonna level with ya'll i'm aromantic. i enjoy romance and shit but i don't really understand crushes so uhh can anyone comment about how crushes feel? thanks!


End file.
